Greedy Goddess Sue

Entries from May 2005

ssc? rack?

May 30, 2005 · Leave a Comment

I’ve seen alot of discussion about what is really consensual when discussing the D/s dynamic… after all we can say the submissive has the right to discuss limits and has a safe word, but this doesn’t necessarily lead to consensual. When mid-scene and the sub is in “subspace” they sometimes won’t safe-word when perhaps it would be a good idea to do so. They trust the dominant to know when to push the limits and when to pull back. Also… there are the dom(me)s who have the philosophy of they set the limits for their subs AND there are those on both side who claim “no limits”.

Thus… here’s a copy of an article I found a while back that I think perhaps better covers the needs of any D/s relationship (be it S/m or Top/bottom or whatever combination/label you prefer).

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SM ORIGIN of RACK: RACK vs. SSC
by Gary Switch
During a discussion of SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) on the TES-Friends list, I proposed RACK (Risk-Aware, Consensual Kink) as an alternative. Here’s my motivation: Nothing’s perfectly safe. Crossing the street isn’t perfectly safe. Remember that it’s technically called “safer sex,” not “safe sex.”

If we want to limit BDSM to what’s safe, we can’t do anything more extreme than flogging somebody with a wet noodle. Mountain climbers don’t call their sport safe, for the simple reason that it isn’t; risk is an essential part of the thrill. They handle it by identifying and minimizing the risk through study, training, technique, and practice.

I believe that this approach will work better for us leatherfolk than claiming that what we do is safe. We want to foster the notion that we develop expertise, that to do what we do properly takes skill developed through a similar process of education, training, and practice.

Negotiation cannot be valid without foreknowledge of the possible risks involved in the activity being negotiated. “Risk-aware” means that both parties to a negotiation have studied the proposed activities, are informed about the risks involved, and agree how they intend to handle them. Hence “risk-aware” instead of “safe.”

The “sane” part of SSC is very subjective. Who’s making the call? Person A might think fisting is insane; persons B and C might enjoy it very much. “Sane” always reminds me of Pat Paulsen’s campaign slogan from the old Smothers Brothers show: “Vote for Paulsen; he’s not insane!” If you go around constantly reassuring folks that you’re not crazy, they’ll start to wonder. I’ve heard “sane” interpreted as: “able to distinguish fantasy from reality” and “not intoxicated,” which are both perfectly valid, though the latter is similar to the above — you don’t go around constantly reassuring folks that you’re not drunk, either.

“Consensual” is the crux, implying negotiation which implies being able to distinguish fantasy from reality, as well as dealing responsibly with risk factors. If you don’t know the risk factors, if you don’t know what will happen in reality, then you don’t know what you’re consenting to. Meaningful negotiation must always take place on the common ground of consensus reality.

The “kink” part went in to make a snappy acronym and because SSC doesn’t tell you what you should be SSC about. Safe, Sane, and Consensual trout fishing?

Alluding to the rack, an archetypal torture instrument,has been criticized, but to me it signifies our transformation of atrocity into ecstasy, and admits that though we may enjoy some dark fantasies,we realize them harmlessly.

RACK is admittedly more confrontational than SSC. It’s defiant, the same way the GLBT community uses “queer.” RACK allows us the freedom to have non-PC fantasies. Don’t a lot of us enjoy non-consensual fantasies, either from the top side or the bottom side? We enjoy them in our literature; we may very well enjoy them while we play.

But we act them out responsibly and consensually.

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Permission is granted to reproduce and distribute this essay, as long as it’s reproduced in its entirety and is attributed to: Gary Switch, Contributing Editor, Prometheus magazine

Categories: sadism · submission

sex

May 30, 2005 · 1 Comment

My back is thrown out , and after days of pill-induced rest it is feeling better. I have zero self-pity for my back being out – I survived a horrific car accident years ago and I am lucky to be alive. If a little back pain is the price, I’ll pay it willingly.

While recovering, I have been doing alot of reading and noticed that there appears to be a distinct difference in the way that doms and dommes view their subs when it comes to sex.

It seems that dominance is inevitibly tied to sex in the case of "male D/female s" and only a ‘perhaps’ in the case of "female D/male s". Wondering if this is just my observation only, or is it actually a gender difference.

How tied to sex is the D/s relationship for you?

Categories: personal

Dominance through Hypnosis

May 27, 2005 · Leave a Comment

WARNING: Hypnosis is addictive!! Start NOW!!

I have 10 years experience with guided meditations (very similar to hypnosis) and have been researching and practicing Hypnosis for the past two years.

I first became interested in Hypnosis after several people asked if I was Hypnotizing them.

While I wasn’t consciously Hypnotizing them at the time, I found out through my research that I have a natural bent towards and talent in Hypnosis. And have continued to explore it….

What is hypnosis? Hypnosis is simply inducing a hypnotic trance. A hypnotic trance is somewhere between sleeping and wakening. And in that space the conscious mind is relaxed, allowing the unconscious to express itself.

Suggestions can be made during trance that last beyond the trance itself. I particularly enjoy using hypnosis to heighten the submissive feelings of the men under my control. I like exploring the subconcious mind for my amusement and entertainment. I enjoy planting trigger words and suggestions that make men bend to my will at the mere sound of my voice uttering key phrases.

It fits perfectly into my other interests of control and manipulation… and fetish exploration!

Categories: Call me · addiction · dominance · hypnosis · submission

Bitch

May 17, 2005 · Leave a Comment

Categories: amusing

fireflies

May 12, 2005 · 1 Comment

defining, redefining, defining….

I have spent the better part of a week in deep discussions with people, online and off, defining. What makes someone a “sub” or a “dominant”? What is the line between vanilla, kink, BDSM? What do you want, from other people and yourself? Who am I? Who are you?

Just stepped outside for a cigarette to see my rescued kitty (found starving and bloody as a kitten, still small and skittish from her sad early lost life) chasing fire flies in the yard. She sees where they *flash* and chases that spot, while the firefly has flitted off across the yard. … over and over… flash… chase… flitter…

(warning: boring epiphany moment ahead….)

And I want to not define tonight. Actually for a few days. I want to chase fireflies. I want to enjoy the process, not analyze the product. I am what I am. All others are what they are. Perhaps we are all in the process of becoming something else, perhaps not. Does it matter?

Categories: personal

A Blog is Born

May 9, 2005 · 2 Comments

Having recently discovered the online world of BDSM, I am quickly discovering why it is addictive! The opportunity to communicate with people all over the world and hear a variety of experiences and opinions has been very interesting!

I have found like-minded individuals who I cherish speaking with, as well as a few nut cases with serious personality disorders who use the web as an outlet for hostility without repercussions (wondering if this identifies yahoo chat specifically or if that is across the board online, lol!), and everything in between.

Through my online adventures, I am discovering a more public voice for myself in relation to D/s. For me, my dominance has always been a private matter. I never really dug the "play party" scene (always seemed a bit like the BDSM version of cheesy pick up bars, but that could be the parties I went to), and I have never lived 24/7 in my Domme-wear cracking a whip.

Coming from a upper-middle class social arena, pretty much everything is accepted as long as you never, ever talk about it. Therefore, my D/s exploration has always been a VERY private matter between me and my subs. While I have had many friends in the "scene" (ugh hate that word too, also conjures up swingin’ singles scene images) and always enjoyed them, it has been nothing like the free, open exchange of ideas and opinions I have encountered online.

As a very curious, verbal, outspoken person, I find that I discover much about myself through writing. The process of formulating my unformed thoughts into coherent phrasings allows me to see "where my head is at". (this is also why I use journaling in my training of subs and slaves, I find that it is this way for many) And I enjoy intelligent discussion with others, whether they agree with me or not.

A word about judgment in this lifestyle (all too common). I find it fascinating the amount of judgment I have discovered, both in others and myself, to be honest. I have always found, in real life, and always assumed intuitively, that members of an "alternative" lifestyle would be more open-minded and accepting of others. LOL ummmm… not so much, no!

In chat rooms, on discussion forums, even in private email correspondence, I have discovered that there is vehement judging going on out there.

Judgment of one fetish as "valid" or "invalid", judgment of how "real" a Domme/dom or sub/slave is (not to mention the criteria that is applied – a varied criteria running from dominance or submissive characteristics to the most superficial – a pretty girl is "Domme" automatically roflMfaooooooooooo – … that is an entire blog posting/ranting in and of itself), judgment of people in every manner I could ever imagine. AND, perhaps even more surprising, is to discover my own sanctimonious, self-righteous, judgmental inner demon showing its ugly face.

And, of course, while I think I am absolutely right (I make the rules around here, so of course I’m right, silly!) I am curious… what does this judgment and consequent lashing out say about the "open-minded" community we all share? (if anything)

Categories: bdsm · personal